wsdante: (Default)

I have very happy childhood memories, mostly from before I was about 8 or so. After that, the memories are more increasingly of pain, angst, frustration and confusion. More details will have to wait for posthumous publication I think.

Unfortunately, as a therapist once told me, what is instilled in you during your formative years remains and informs the way you perform as an adult.
Repetition, for example, is an effective learning tool. 

If, say, it is repeatedly - even violently - reinforced that 'answering back' will not be tolerated, the child's ability to construct verbal counter-arguments or defend themselves from accusations, in any setting, will be compromised.

If, for instance, a child is told often enough how disappointing they are compared to their siblings, their feelings of self-worth will always be crippled and they will cease trying to achieve what they will see as the unachievable.

If a child is told often enough just what a burden they are to their mother ("...the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children." [W.M.Thackery]) they will carry that constant sense of guilt with them even after they have forgotten why they feel it.  

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wsdante

December 2011

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