wsdante

Well, how am I feeling?

I'm not really sure. Life continues with all its practical demands and various vicissitudes. Energy-wise, I'm pretty much back to the plateau I was at about a month ago – which isn't saying much but is way better than it has been of late.

No obvious signs of any grief over dad as yet. I've been quietly getting on with the mundane stuff and letting my thoughts drift where they will. I guess I'm a little more contemplative than usual.

I've decided to start meditating regularly again. It's been a while now but I suppose (and hope) it's rather like riding a bike. It never made life any less punishing, but it improved the way I approached it.

Tom has decided to take a year out of university. He wrote a very mature and well-considered email to his mum and I explaining why. He's still keen on physics but is finding the maths component of the course depressingly harsh. He's looking into trying his hand at a carpentry/joinery apprenticeship for the year out if he can organise it. (I know Bin will raise a knowing eyebrow at me at that).

Anyway, I told him I couldn't be more proud him for the way he's handled the situation. Who knows, by next year he might be up for taking it on again. If not, joinery isn't a bad earner anyway and the important thing is that my kids are happy and fulfilled in life, not made miserable by trying to meet others' expectations.

I would hate it if any of my kids ended up the Live to Work rather than Work to Live types.

It's not having what you want, but wanting what you have that makes a content life, methinks.